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Filonian
Red Arrows
Posts: 6383 Joined: 27 Nov 2005, 08:08
Location: Gristhorpe, UK
Post
by Filonian » 29 May 2008, 23:35
Ma and Pa are two hillbillies living out on a farm
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full.
He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road?
He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse
Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time.
The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air.
While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground.
The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole.."
Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.
He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse!
Off goes the first stick of dynamite .... shooting the outhouse into the air
BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite . spreading poop all over the farm
WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.....
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right??!!"
As she pulls up her bloomers she says...
"Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen
Graham
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
FlyTexas
Red Arrows
Posts: 7151 Joined: 26 Jun 2004, 10:18
Location: Texas
Post
by FlyTexas » 30 May 2008, 06:18
(groan)
Brian
Tarasdad
Comet
Posts: 194 Joined: 13 May 2008, 04:00
Location: California City, California, USA
Post
by Tarasdad » 30 May 2008, 07:05
Careful, now - them's my kinfolk you're talking about.
nigelb
Red Arrows
Posts: 5039 Joined: 11 Apr 2005, 17:19
Location: Herndon, Virginia, USA
Post
by nigelb » 30 May 2008, 13:21
You learn something every day. I did not know there were hillbillies in Tarzana....- thought they all lived yonder a little piece west of here! ;-)
Tarasdad
Comet
Posts: 194 Joined: 13 May 2008, 04:00
Location: California City, California, USA
Post
by Tarasdad » 31 May 2008, 00:50
I will have you know, sir, that I am a Texan. I'm currently being held host...err..."living" in California until I can esca...err...afford to move back. HELP
'Tis true that I have "hillbilly" roots, though. My dad is from West Virginia, and my ancestors lived there and in Kentucky. You might say it's in the blood.
Paul K
Red Arrows
Posts: 7835 Joined: 12 Jun 2005, 16:41
Location: Norfolk UK
Post
by Paul K » 31 May 2008, 01:29
Keep 'em coming, Graham! ;-)
nigelb
Red Arrows
Posts: 5039 Joined: 11 Apr 2005, 17:19
Location: Herndon, Virginia, USA
Post
by nigelb » 31 May 2008, 15:27
Tarasdad wrote: ...'Tis true that I have "hillbilly" roots, though. My dad is from West Virginia, and my ancestors lived there and in Kentucky. You might say it's in the blood.
Ah, that explains it then - you come by it honestly.