There Was This Knight......

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Tomliner
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There Was This Knight......

Post by Tomliner »

In armour riding through the woods when he happened upon a damsel in distress.'Forsooth' said he,'what upsets thee so?''Oh sire'says she,'I wish to bake scones for tea(yes I know,but it's only a joke) but I cannot get the wood to burn properley in the oven,would you aid me?Of course being a gallant Knight of the realm he could not refuse,chivalry demanded it.Upon inspection he found that there not enough ventilation and asked the damsel if she had a pair of bellows(--don't even go there!!!) .She said 'Yes Sire I will fetch them'.The gallant Knight applied himself vigorously to blowing air into the oven,so vigorously in fact that the whole thing caught fire and burnt down the damsels cottage.There is a moral to this story and it is that------wait for it-----
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Men in Brass Trousers Shuldn' t Blow Scones. I'll be off now EricT
Now at the age where I know I like girls but can't remember why!

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Garry Russell
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Post by Garry Russell »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Doesn't improve much around here...does it :roll:

Gary
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Nigel H-J
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Post by Nigel H-J »

Nope!! :roll: :lol:
I used to be an optimist but with age I am now a grumpy old pessimist.

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DaveB
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Post by DaveB »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

You lot are totally wasted here :lol:

ATB

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Old sailors never die.. they just smell that way!

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Garry Russell
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Post by Garry Russell »

A customer in a restaurant ordered Squid. The head Chef, Gervaise went to get a squid from the tank where they were kept live and saw that there was only one there. It was a pitiful hideous creature, vile looking a sort of green colour and had a hairy lip.

So ugly was this creature he couldn’t bear to kill it as he looked into it’s sorrowful eyes he could almost see a tear from the creature.

He had an idea and called the dishwasher, a German by the name of Hans and asked him to do the deed. Hans picked it up and was just about to do the act when the creatures stare caught his eye. It looked pathetic with it vile green appearance and it’s eye almost in tears. The squids little hairy lip was quivering with fear.

Hans just couldn’t bring himself to do it either. :sad:

So the head chef had to go and tell the customer that squid was off.



wait for it.............














Hans that do dishes is as soft as Gervaise with vile green hairy-lip squid.

:roll: :redface:

Might need explaining to our overseas vistors and younger members

Garry
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DaveB
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Post by DaveB »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dear me.. I never cease to be amazed!! :lol:

ATB

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Old sailors never die.. they just smell that way!

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Garry Russell
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Post by Garry Russell »

How about the Vampire (Dracula not DH) who married one of his early victims

It was a case of love at first bite. :roll:


Garry
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Paul K
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Post by Paul K »

Too many hours with the auto-pilot on and nothing to do, thats what I blame. :lol:

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Garry Russell
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Post by Garry Russell »

Hmmmmmmmmm :think:

Try again.........I do very little flying only usually on testing or checking. :sad:

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DaveB
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Post by DaveB »

I think living next to that field with freshly spread manure has something to do with it. Perhaps it becomes strangely intoxicating with prolonged exposure :think:

ATB

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Old sailors never die.. they just smell that way!

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