We tried not to spread it around too much, but I had a seedy start in life
People have said that I have an interesting smile, what do you think?
Apart from that. I think I have another couple of good points
Never took up religion, my uncle was Ju-ice, but he ran all over the place, becoming a stain on our reputation.
Matter of fact, none of the family were good roll models, constantly going in circles, and totally lacking a sense of direction.
As you can see, I'm built for running, but I always say "Bean there, done that." Silly, really.
Mum's side was from the old purple variety, naturally they had herbal connections, and were traditionally steeped. Mum was trained from an early age as a Carot reader. Dad's joke - "It was all in her head, and that's why she was that shape." We never laughed at that. He looked ridiculous with that Afro hairstyle at his age, so he couldn't talk.
My older brother met a French girl called Julienne through a web. They arranged to go out on a date, and we never saw him again. Of course, we gave his details and photo to Missing Parsnips, and though everyone including our potato friends kept their eyes peeled, we couldn't find a shred of him anywhere.
As if that wasn't enough, there was some kind of earthquake a couple of weeks back and the entire neighbourhood was uprooted.
Dad was the first to show signs of cracking, while Mum just began to wither. Eventually, they all went to pot, whilst I finished up in this glass-walled place known as "Class A". So whether I'm here for higher education or what remains to be seen.
I've decided that it's best to preserve my casual lifestyle.
Producer's note; shortly after making this documentary, the carrot was unexpectedly eaten by guinea pigs.
