Airband quotes

[Airspeed]

Had these passed on to me, apparently true....


Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"



Unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

[emfrat]

This is true, too

Unidentified Aircraft: What time is it?

Wellington Tower: Aircraft requesting time check -
If you're QANTAS, it is 0030 Zulu.
If you are Air New Zealand, it is half past twelve.
If you are North-South Airlines, it is lunchtime.
If you are Mt Cook Airways, it is Thursday...

Things are a bit less hectic down here
ATB
MikeW

[Paul K]

This one cracks me up..

ATC: "Air Force Four-Five, it appears your engine has... oh, disregard...
I see you've already ejected."