They are definitely here!!

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hobby
Concorde
Concorde
Posts: 1172
Joined: 30 Oct 2005, 12:01
Location: UK

They are definitely here!!

Post by hobby »

They Walk Among Us
I was at the checkout of my local Tesco's. The assistant rang up £16.64. I gave her a £20 note. She gave me back £16.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favour. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I departed the store with the £16.64.


They Walk Among Us
I walked into a Dominoes Pizza with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a regular pizza. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little notice pinned to the menu that said 'buy-one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free' She handed me my free pizzas and I walked out the door.


They Walk Among Us!
One day I was walking down the local canal with some friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where'?


They Walk Among Us!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the Estate Agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff.'


They Walk Among Us!!
I used to work in technical support for a European 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, 'The number you dialled is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that European Standard time or Greenwich Mean Time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, yes.'


They Walk Among Us!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot.


They Walk Among Us!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags had not turned up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'


They Walk Among Us!
While I was waiting at the Dominoes (see above) I saw a blonde lady ordering a small takeaway pizza. She appeared to be alone. The cook asked her if she would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. She thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6.'


Yes, They Walk Among Us!


......... and they Reproduce, and Worst of all ............


THEY VOTE !!!!! (No wonder Gordon Brown lives at No 10!)

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Garry Russell
The Ministry
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Joined: 29 Jan 2005, 00:53
Location: On the other side of the wall

Re: They are definitely here!!

Post by Garry Russell »

Thanks Hobby

I could do with a laugh and that certainly got me going :)

Garry
Garry

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"In the world of virtual reality things are not always what they seem."

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speedbird591
Battle of Britain
Battle of Britain
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Joined: 24 Jun 2004, 05:56
Location: Wiltshire, UK
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Re: They are definitely here!!

Post by speedbird591 »

hobby wrote:They Walk Among Us
Yes, we do! And our mission is to weed out those who are unsuitable for our breeding programme. You have failed all the tests so far. The mother ship will arrive sooner than you think and your fate will be sealed.

You have one last chance to become a worker drone. If you fail that test also, you will be transported to a species experimentation planet. When the call comes you must be prepared. A man with an American accent will phone to tell you that you have won an exotic holiday. Do not hang up - follow all his instructions implicitly. If you post here complaining about your phone bill, you will have failed the final test. You have been warned.

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Filonian
Red Arrows
Red Arrows
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Joined: 27 Nov 2005, 08:08
Location: Gristhorpe, UK

Re: They are definitely here!!

Post by Filonian »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Graham
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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VEGAS
Battle of Britain
Battle of Britain
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Joined: 15 Sep 2005, 22:41
Location: probably lost on the moors

Re: They are definitely here!!

Post by VEGAS »

Love it! :lol:
Image I suffer from paranoid amnesia. I can't remember who I don't trust.Image

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