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Kiwi ventriloquist

Posted: 29 Jul 2009, 21:27
by Filonian
A Kiwi ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Aussie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Aussie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements..'

Aussie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Aussie: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f****ng' liar……'



Graham

Re: Kiwi ventriloquist

Posted: 29 Jul 2009, 22:35
by FlyTexas
:lol: :lol: I had a feeling this would be a good one. I was laughing just reading the title. :lol:

Brian

Re: Kiwi ventriloquist

Posted: 30 Jul 2009, 02:29
by steelsporran
:lol: :lol: Nice to see the nationalities reversed for a change! :lol: :lol:

Re: Kiwi ventriloquist

Posted: 30 Jul 2009, 15:57
by speedbird591
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Kiwi ventriloquist

Posted: 31 Jul 2009, 10:36
by cstorey
I thought he was visiting Yorkshire, where men are men and sheep are nervous

Re: Kiwi ventriloquist

Posted: 31 Jul 2009, 11:02
by AndyG
Classic! :lol:

Graham. you are keeping my office in absolute stitches, keep up the sterling work! :welldone: